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| Thursday, April 27, 2006 |
| Talked to momma |
I finally got to talk to my mom. It is hard when you are getting news passed down from one person to another. My sis just gave me what news she heard though.
My mom said that it is for sure cancer. That the reason they are sending it off to the lab is to see if the cells are consistent with the cancer he had before. The doctors already said that they look like it but they have to have confirmation from the lab. The next visit I, from what I understood, is to see if the cancer went up or down from the lymph node. If it went up it will have gone to the kidneys, liver, stomach, etc., and if it went down it will go to the prostrate. We are holding out that it moved down. They are going to remove the lymph gnode they know for sure and then Max is going to go through radiation and chemotherapy. The doctors at Little Rock could not believe that St. Louis did not do that when he had the penile cancer. They also said that with the type of cancer that Max has you can get rid of the cancer in one area completely and all of a sudden it shows up someplace else. It is called squamous cell carcinoma, I think I spelled that right. The doctor asked Max if he had thought of suicide and Max told him yes. Then the doctor asked if he had plans and Max told him no. Which is not true. Making the statement that he is going to go out in the field and shoot himself is making plans or rather I guess plotting the hows of what he will do. The doctor asked Max why he wanted to kill himself and Max told the doctor because he is no use to anyone anymore. My mom said she told him that he was to her. It is so sad. He is just like a big ole teddy bear right now and you just want to squeeze him. I know that he done some things that made life painful when we were growing up but nothing that was not forgivable and for sure nothing that you would want to see him suffer like this. I don't want to see anyone suffer like this, especially someone so close to me. I hope that didn't sound selfish. It just hurts my heart.
I have been sleeping a lot lately. Last night I slept 2 hours the first time, 2 and a half hours the second time, and 3 hours the 3d time. Then I slept for 2 hours twice today. It has been a busy week with something to do every day and I am not use to it. I canceled my pdoc appointment today. I didn't want to go anywhere. Now I don't have to get out of the house until the 4th of May. Hm, that is not far away. Ugh. Maybe I can put that one off too, lol.
Later. God bless. Teressa. |
posted by Teressa @ 5:21 PM  |
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| 8 Comments: |
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Poor Terri....I am still hanging onto the hope that Max hasn't cancer, but then if he did, that it is the kind they can operate on and get rid of. I can sort of try to understand why your Dad would want to do away with himself, if he feels his sickness is just to much to bear, and if he feels what's the use and he is no use anymore. I don't know how a person would get thru to him to try the treatment if it is needed, and that his life has as much purpose as everyone else's. Maybe a social worker can help, or if he is religeous, a pastor or priest or someone from his church. All around it is a very sad thing and I have all the sympathy in the world for you and your Mom and family as you work thru this. If there is anything I can do to help, even if it is just a cyber-hug and a shoulder, I am here...hugz, Linda
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It's a good time to tell him how important he is to everyone in easy-going, sincere voices. Listen and remind him that he is not alone in this.
Just say the things you like to hear when you are down.
Thinking of you, Terr
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i'm so sorry about max. the poor guy. i can't begin to imagine how he feels. my thoughts are with all of you.
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So sorry to hear the news isn't very good. Hang in there, if it went to the Prostate, that's a pretty treatable form of cancer in a lot of cases.
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you've been tagged. go to my post to see what you have to do.
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Ahhh Teressa, I'm so sorry. This has got to be hard for you and your family. I'll light a good candle for you and your family.
Hugs sweetie.
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I'm the same as you about putting off appts. & thinking how far I've got til I have to go outside again.
Gosh, that really sucks about Max having cancer. I've recently been thru this with 1 aunt & have a cousin going thru chemo (my aunt's daughter).
No, it doesn't sound selfish to say you don't want him to suffer; that is very humane. My aunt passed away from cancer in December & I have to say, I've only felt a sense of relief for her.
I will pray for you to have strength, good listening ears & speak wise words to Max. And of course, that he not suffer.
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Hi Terri just passing by to say hello, take care,
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Poor Terri....I am still hanging onto the hope that Max hasn't cancer, but then if he did, that it is the kind they can operate on and get rid of. I can sort of try to understand why your Dad would want to do away with himself, if he feels his sickness is just to much to bear, and if he feels what's the use and he is no use anymore. I don't know how a person would get thru to him to try the treatment if it is needed, and that his life has as much purpose as everyone else's. Maybe a social worker can help, or if he is religeous, a pastor or priest or someone from his church. All around it is a very sad thing and I have all the sympathy in the world for you and your Mom and family as you work thru this. If there is anything I can do to help, even if it is just a cyber-hug and a shoulder, I am here...hugz, Linda