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| Saturday, April 15, 2006 |
| Drunken Dad |
My dad called me while he was drunk tonight at 11:30. I just knew when the phone rang that late it was him. I hate talking to him after he has been drinking. He started back to drinking, oh, I would say about 2 months ago. He just whines about how much he wants his ex-wife back. How lonely he is and how he won't ever love anyone else again. He knows his ex won't take him back but persists in wallowing in this. It has been 2 years since their divorce. It doesn't help that they work at the same place and have to see each other every day. She calls him when she needs something done around her house, knowing how he feels. He could call me sober and talk about this all he wants and maybe it wouldn't upset me so much but I have no patience when he is drunk. His drinking caused too many nightmares in my life. I feel for him. I love him. But sometimes I do regret contacting him again. Nothing really changes. He still thinks I control whether the other kids see him or not. That is hard. Once when drunk he wanted me to trick one of my sisters into being in one place and him just popping up, surprising her. She wants nothing to do with him whatsoever. She hasn't seen him since she was around 11 years old and she is 36 now. I told him I couldn't do that. He thinks I should have. I don't need this stress. Maybe I am suppose to learn something from this. I hope that if that is the case I learn it quickly, my nerves are frayed.
Later. God bless. Teressa. |
posted by Teressa @ 1:22 AM  |
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| 9 Comments: |
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That sucks! I don't like talking to drunk people anymore. And for it to be a family memeber must be even harder. That's a no-win situation.
Take care of you!!!
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Maybe you need to tell him when he's sober that you will no longer welcome his calls when he's drunk. And then stick to it. If it means hanging up on him, hang up. If you have caller ID, use it and don't answer. There is nothing you can do for a drunk. Only they can help themselves. It's so much harder when it's a family member but you have to stick to your guns or else get pulled down with them.
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Kevin is right on target. Tell him point-blank that you will not talk to him if he's drunk. That's what I finally had to do with my Ex. When she persisted, I stopped talking to her at all.
I know it's hard Sweetie, but sometimes Tough Love is what it takes to get their attention.
Please, don't agonize over this.
Love ya!!!
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There's alcolism on both sides of my family and it's true what Gun and Lauren said. You can't get thru to them at all when they are on the sauce. He sounds like what they call a "crying" drunk. That's better than being a "violent drunk" but it wears you down. Maybe tell him firmly, Dad, I love you, but I can't take it when you are drunk. You're more than welcome to call me when you are sober", and tell him bye and hang up. Don't let him make you feel guilty. I know this is hard to do. I am real good at telling other people how to do stuff when I have great trouble following my advice. Good luck with Dad. Hope he straightens up, he will be better off in the long run...hugz, Linda
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No need for words... all he needs is someone to listen to his whines. There is realy nothing much you can do except that. He is suppose to be the one making that change that might make him get out of the habit.
Take it easy. Take Care of yourself.
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i'm sorry you have to go through this. take care.
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It is hard to watch those we love self destruct. I am thinking of you:)
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i too would do what kevin suggested...let him know that you won't take any calls when he is drunk. THIS is not why you reconnected with him. if he persists change your number. harsh i know but sounds like he has been this way most of your life teressa. and god knows you don't need the added stress and aggravation.
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That sucks! I don't like talking to drunk people anymore. And for it to be a family memeber must be even harder. That's a no-win situation.
Take care of you!!!