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| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
| 4.3.5 |
The Family Thing...We are one happy family. I have healed from the surgery, Clay is 6 weeks old and I am going back to work. I hated leaving my baby but you do what you need to do, right? Well, I didn''t work long before realizing something was very wrong. I could no longer sit at my machine without eating trylisate. I was in severe pain. I was also very sick. I had to eventually quit. It was hard. We were depending on that second income and I was use to working. So hard. The doctors nor I could figure out what was going on. I tried to work at a different place thinking I just needed to do something else, so I went to a kennel and took care of dogs. That didn''t work. Same thing. This was by now October. I realized that I would not be able to work anymore. I was trained in fields that either required sitting or standing all day. I could do neither. So started the process of applying for disability and all the doctors probing me and my mind. I applied in October 1992 and I was not approved until May of 1994. I guess I was lucky though that it only took 19 months as I have heard so many stories since where people fought for years and years. My judge was very upset with the system over my case. He said that was no reason for them to deny me period and he took my disability to the last day worked instead of the day I filed. Though they could not pinpoint what happened to me they could not deny that something did. That I had some severe problems.
With the disability came depression. As you know I had already been struggling with my mental problems. Well the disability really brought them to the forefront. I did not take not being able to work ever again well at all. It was so devastating. I went into a spiral and my family bare the brunt of it. Not only from my physical limitations but by my emotional limitations. Clay had to grow up fast. I could not lift him and put him in his car seat and he learned right after walking to put himself in the car seat and latch it up. He learned a lot fast. I remember days when before he could walk that I would put him on the bed with me and that is where we spend most all day. Me sleeping on and off and Clay playing around me. I was so fortunate. It took me about a 2 years to get over what had happened. Oh, I did have my good days, don''t get me wrong, but I was surely a mess. In writing this don''t think that I am now feeling sorry for myself. I did my bout of that and have been over it for a long time.
Clay grew and we moved to Arizona when he was 3, back to Missouri for a bit and then back to Arizona when he was 4. We were torn between grandparents.
Later. God bless and blog on.
April 3, 2005 8:09 PM |
posted by Teressa @ 11:59 AM  |
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