| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
| 3.31.5 |
Married For 4th Time, Whew, Third Husband, Lol.I have changed from my other self. The one who allowed others to tell me what I should be doing, how I should be thinking, and how I should be living. I have become someone who is more apt to tell you how I feel before thinking about it first. I in essence became, for lack of a better word, a bitch. I was not going to let anyone take control over me anymore. Now I have married Gary and determined that it will be different this time. Gary is the total opposite of any man I had been with before. He let me be me. He allowed me to be in control of most all situations. I felt the need to be in control because of how much I was out of control of my life until then, I guess. I was terrified of giving in to someone else guiding my destiny. I had fears of not having a roof to live under and loss of everything again. Now I had a child to think of and I was bound and determined that life was going to be a dramatic change.
Gary and I lived on the farm while his mother and father were in Arizona. Gary had not gotten a job yet, he had quit getting high but not drinking yet. He had until the baby was born to quit that and I was only 2 and a half months pregnant at this point. Also, Gary was not a mean drunk. I remember the first time that Gary opened a bottle of whiskey around me. I had that fear in my gut. I could not believe how opposite he was to the others. He would get the giggles, be jovial, just have a blast. So I did not fear anything from his drinking. Life was good. We were enjoying our lives. We were pregnant and scared but still in awe of the changes that had and were taking place in our lives. In March his parents called and had him start selling off the cattle. They decided to sell the farm. So by April they were back and there was a big auction and the farm was sold. Gary and I moved to town. We got some money from some of the cattle sold that Gary had a part share in so we were O.K. for awhile. Gary was putting in applications all over. He had a good letter of recommendation from when he worked for a time with the county before I met him. So I didn''t worry about him getting a job. May came and I was now ready to give birth. Gary got a job and a few days later they took the baby by c-section. I had a 10 lb. 15 oz. baby boy. He was huge, lol. My mother and Gary got to see him brought out of the delivery room and they said he was on all fours screaming bloody murder, lmbo, that''s my boy!
Later. God bless and blog on.
March 31, 2005 7:06 PM |
posted by Teressa @ 11:57 AM  |
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