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| Monday, July 10, 2006 |
| Thank you friends |
Thank you to my friends who have been so patient with me while I am going through whatever mood this is. I do appreciate every comment made to let me know that you care. Until I recieved an e-mail from Lisa tonight I had not been on the internet except to check my e-mail since Thursday. Well to be exact it would of been early Friday morning because that is when I went to bed. I have been having panic attacks thinking of coming on here. I just don't know what to say anymore. My life is the same and Max is still dying of cancer. Nothing is changing about either one. It seems like all my little gripes are nothing compared to what Max is going through. Max has now gone from a size 3x to a L. He has no appetite and it will just get worse because they are going to start the morphine patches. My mom says that his breath smells like the cancer smelled that he had removed last year. She said she can give him a bed bath and it is no time that the smell of cancer is back.
Here things move along as usual. Clay has his summer homework to do. He has to read "To Kill A Mockingbird" and answer 100 questions about it before school starts. He is a quarter of the way through it and he thinks that is OK. We are fighting about it of course. As a teenager he of course knows so much more than I do, wouncha know. At nights he is working this week with the church in VBS. We put clothes in layaway for him for school, it was only $80, but I don't know how we are going to get them out. A credit card company that we had been avoiding since 1999, yeah I know, well they caught up with us, of course, knew it would happen just not when. Now we have another payment coming out every month. We sure didn't need that. I know, we deserve it. We had just caught up on all the other bills. Well all but a $39 dollar one that I forgot. I don't know what it is about finding that $39 dollars when I remember it, go figure. Then this week we had to take out a payday loan, yep, groan, one of the leeches. I don't see paying that off anytime soon. Probably not until income tax time. We did buy what school supplies that I knew Clay would need. I don't know what the deal is with the teachers not wanting paper from spiral notebooks. Spiral notebooks were only 10 cents each. I could of bought the years lot for a few dollars, but no, have to have binders with loose leaf paper. At least the $3 binders were on sale for $.97, couldn't beat that. I bought the 3 for the Advanced Placement classes he has I hope that is all he needs. I got highlighters, wooden pencils and a mechanical pencil. He prefers the mechanical pencils. I don't know about ink pens so decided to wait on that. I don't think they are allowed to have a red pen. Which is funny because we always had to have one when I went to school in the upper grades. Now though I guess it is an attempt at detering the changing of a grade.
Gary's side seems not to be bothering him so much lately or he is just being quiet about it. I know I have prayed for him and I do believe in miracles so a healing must of taken place if it is gone. His blood pressure is coming down as well. His pulse is still a bit high resting. His knees are taking a killing kneeling down at work the way he does. He has 3 knots on one knee and 2 knots on the other knee. They look like psoriasis and they itch. It very well could be that but it is localized to the knots. Nowhere else.
I guess that is enough to say for the time being. I didn't think I would be able to get anything out, lol. Goes to show what you might have in you at any given time.
Later. God bless. Teressa. |
posted by Teressa @ 12:58 AM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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i'm so glad that you posted. see? you had plenty to say.
To Kill a Mockingbird. great book, great, great movie.
i don't know what to say about max, except that you're all in my thoughts.
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Mornin' Teri!!!! I am so happy to see you have posted even tho it must have been very hard for you to get your thoughts together enough to type them out. Your mother seems to be holding herself together somehow enough to care for Max and see the changes everyday. Yes cancer has a particular odour about it. One strange thing I saw in the nursing home was the sheets of a man with advanced liver cancer. You know they go yellow? This yellow also comes out of their skin and turned the sheets yellow where he laid. All you can do for Max now is keep him comfortable. I don't like tosay this but when they start with the morphine it won't be much longer. But you know that...Yeah I laid all Amanda's school clothes away at K-mart every year, even the note books, and so forth. When I went to school, we could only use blue pen. I even remember using a fountain pen that I filled with Quink ink! I imagine they don't make them anymire. If anybody even buys a fountain pen anymore, you have those ink cartridges to use. You know, what with the gas prices going sky-high along with all the rest of the cost of living. I feel sorry for your husband when it comes to his knees. Gene having done lace machine work all his life as terrible looking knees from when he has to kneel to tie his beams in. I tried buying him those knee pads but it didn't help much. Now he just drags an old couch cushion along as he goes. Maybe Gary can come up with a solution like that. You know it's been real good to chat to you here and I am very glad you found the strength to post. Thank you...many, many hugs and much love...Linda
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Glad to see you posted. I have been thinking about you:-)
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i'm so glad that you posted. see? you had plenty to say.
To Kill a Mockingbird. great book, great, great movie.
i don't know what to say about max, except that you're all in my thoughts.