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| Wednesday, June 21, 2006 |
| Update |
First off I am sorry for not updating my blog the way I should. It is just not in me right now to keep up with it. I am in a strange mood. I feel very lonely in the world. I can't really talk about how I feel deep down. I hold back except with one person and I feel like I shouldn't be talking so much about myself to her, so I avoid it. I miss the Tower chat. I have been going to Yahoo chat in the Diabetic 1 chat room but I feel out of place there. My first online family is here. I miss everyone.
Max and momma went to the oncologist for the post-op appointment. She said that Max has the rarest form of cancer there is. She has only seen it twice in all the years she has practiced. It is very virulent (sp). He now has a spot near the opening they created for him to urinate from. They are pretty sure it is the cancer. They will have to do a biopsy on it I am sure. They expeditated a PET scan for him and will do it tomorrow because he has to do a special diet 24 hours before the test. Must be some heavy radiation. He can't go near a pregnant woman or baby after having the test for a period of time, I don't know how long it was. They are doing the PET because he has cancer someplace else and they can't find it. Max has also opted for chemo to prolong his life. He said he wanted to be with momma for as long as possible. They did tell him that this was only a means of prolonging the inevitable, that this is going to kill him.
Momma is falling apart. I am really concerned about her. All the time we new without the oncologist telling us that the cancer was incurable she didn't believe it and when the oncologist told her she fell to pieces. She is holding herself together in front of Max but if he is not around she is a mess. She is breaking out in boils all over her body and she has 4 fever blisters on her mouth. She won't take a nerve pill because she is afraid Max will need her and she won't be there. She called me and I said how are you doing and she started crying and just said "we are going to lose daddy". My heart went out to her. This is crushing her. She said she didn't think she was strong enough to go through it. I told her she was strong enough. That she was a strong person. That she always told us kids that God would never put on us more than we can handle. Also, that Job lost everything and she has her faith. She has strong faith. She did at one point maybe a month ago say something about this shaking her faith but I don't believe it will falter. She really is a strong person. I wish I could do something for her or be of some kind of use. I really am jealous of my sister who gets to be there with her all the time. I want to be there as well.
That is all for now.
Later. God bless. Teressa. |
posted by Teressa @ 12:52 PM  |
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| 13 Comments: |
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Oh Teri I am so sorry you are going thru a difficult time. I hate cencer. If they can put a man on the moon and all those satillites up there surely they can find a cure. Your Momma indeed is a very strong lady, wanting to bear up for Max.I don't know how she does it. It is hard to put up a front when you are falling apart inside. Has your mother been able to get to church, or her pastor to stop by to speak to her? Sometimes this is a great help. It would help her if she could take a little light pill, just to take the edge off and help her cope without getting sleepy. But if she doesn't want this kind of help, it's her call. I really feel for your family at this time, and I am praying that you will all find the strength to cope for Max's sake. I'm so sorry Teri, I don't know how you ever posted with everything you are going thru but thanks for keeping us up to date...hugz and much love, Linda
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I am so dorry for what your family is going through.
I lit a candle for you, and prayed that Max has to go through as little pain as possible.
You are all in my thoughts.
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i don't know what to say. i'm so sorry that all of you have to go through this. it's an awful thing.
i think i can safely say that we're all here for you.
love ya
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Teri, you just post when you feel like posting, no apologies necessary. It's such a difficult thing to go through & I cannot imagine the pain your mom is feeling. You're right, she will find strength & she'll get through it. How unselfish of Max to prolong his life to spend more time with your mom. I hope you're able to cry & let your feelings out. Thank you for updating us about Max & please take care of yourself.
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You and your family are in my prayers.
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Always in my thoughts honey...
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Oh Teresa... I'm so sorry about all this. And don't you worry about updating your blog. I hope you signed up on the new MSN chat thing. I think you did, but my brain is stuck on stupid lately.
I feel so sorry for your mom and Max and you. It brings tears to my eyes. I'm lighting a candle for you all.
Take care hon.
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Teri, I am very sorry you and your mom are going through this. When I lost my Dad the hardest part was seeing he needed help and there was nothing I could do. I remember he asked me if I had a cigarette (I still smoked back then) and I said yes, but Dadj you can't smoke. He had tears in his eyes and he said do you think I am going to get lung cancer? I felt so bad. I helped him into a wheelchair and took him outside and gave him all the cigarettes he wanted. He looked so much more relaxed after that. Of course I caught heck from the rest of the family when they found out, but I will never be sorry I did what I could do for him.
This is the most difficult time to go through and just remember we are all here for you. If you want to chat just let me know.
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Hi Sweetie, Just stopping by to say hi & I hope you are coping okay. I'm thinking about you.
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Thought I'd drop in and say hi and hope you are bearing up as well as you can, you and your Momma and the rest of your family. I hope Max is doing as well as he can and has pain-free days I'll continue to say prayers for all of you...love&hugs, Linda
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Hi Teressa, Stopping by to see how you are. I hope you're alright...I'm beginning to worry about you. :(
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Just dropped by to see how you were doing. I'm sorry about all you are going thru....hugz, Linda
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Just dropped in to say hi,((((hugz)))), take care of yourself, Linda
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Oh Teri I am so sorry you are going thru a difficult time. I hate cencer. If they can put a man on the moon and all those satillites up there surely they can find a cure. Your Momma indeed is a very strong lady, wanting to bear up for Max.I don't know how she does it. It is hard to put up a front when you are falling apart inside. Has your mother been able to get to church, or her pastor to stop by to speak to her? Sometimes this is a great help. It would help her if she could take a little light pill, just to take the edge off and help her cope without getting sleepy. But if she doesn't want this kind of help, it's her call. I really feel for your family at this time, and I am praying that you will all find the strength to cope for Max's sake. I'm so sorry Teri, I don't know how you ever posted with everything you are going thru but thanks for keeping us up to date...hugz and much love, Linda