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| Thursday, January 19, 2006 |
| Hodge Podge |
Seen the pdoc yesterday. She upped my Depakote. We will see if this works. I hate that if it doesn't I have to wait a whole month to do anything about it. I am cycling pretty fast right now and she wouldn't do anything about the depression. I have more depression than mania. I have come to the conclusion that my binge eating is part of my mania. I noticed certain things about it in the last month. Since I have gotten to where I can't do anything my mania has taken a different route. Where I use to go like mad. Cleaning and running around from here to there. I would seldom eat. Now I find that it is during a manic stage that I am binge eating. Bad thing. I don't know what to do with the excess energy since I can't expel it by usual means.
My mom, Max and granny are doing OK. Max has had another mini-stroke. The plaque in his arteries is breaking up and pieces are making their way to his brain, causing the strokes. From what I understand of this he is very lucky to have the functioning that he does have after experiencing this. My mom still has the shingles. I don't know how long it is going to take for those to go away. Granny is granny. She is giving them what for, lol.
Clay is doing well. Good grades and few episodes of anger. I pray that his grades continue to be good. I am worried that he is not learning to study. He made the A's and one B on his quarter grades and all A's on his semester grades. Great, right? Well, he never studies. Eventually things are going to become harder and he won't have the basic understanding of how to study well. When I found out that he wasn't using his time to study I didn't know what to do. I mean what can you say when the grades are good? Yeah, your grades are wonderful but you need to study because __________? I haven't a clue. Maybe I am just being OCD here. I get that way with him sometimes. I also borrow trouble by worrying where there is no place to worry. But what if I am right?
Gary is having a rough go of it right now. He has been sick with a cold for a few days and his back decided to go out. He originally pulled his back out when they still had the farm in the 80's. Now it will act up now and again. He still goes to work. Stooped over, but he goes. He has another vacation day planned next week. I am sure he is looking forward to another 3 day weekend again. We will be getting our income tax refund and he loves to shop. Funny that he loves to shop. Most men don't like it, or most of the men I ever knew anyway.
I keep getting confused on the time and what day I am on. I went to bed at 6 p.m. this evening and got up at 9:30. I feel like it is morning. Well, it is morning now but I mean like tomorrow, wake up sunshine, hello world morning. Like it is ever a wake up sunshine, hello sunshine morning for me, lol. I think I will take a couple Klonopin to get back to sleep. OK, took them. Hope they work or my schedule is going to be messed up again.
Later. God bless. Teressa. |
posted by Teressa @ 11:38 PM  |
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| 6 Comments: |
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Dooce wrote a really good post on the particular agony of waiting to see if a psychiatric medication is going to work or not...I certainly sympathize. The "glass half full" part of your post here, to me, though, is that it sounds like you are really gaining some insight into your own moods and triggers and the pattern of the cycling. That can only help.
I'm not BP, but hubby is. He was just taken cold-turkey off his lithium because it was clobbering his thyroid. I'm really nervous about that, though he is still on Depakote and Abilify. Hopefully that will get us through spring, which is definitely his tough time.
Hang in there. Much love and understanding from here!
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I'm awake! Oh...you weren't referring to me as "sunshine"? Sorry. Thanks for the update. You disappear sometimes and we all wonder what's up. I just got over a very mild cold, literally it lasted 2 days! They should all be that easy!
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I wouldn't worry about your son's study habits. When the time comes and he has to study, he will.
The reason you didn't know about my limitations is because I never told anyone until just recently. I just couldn't open up about it, but the condition keeps getting worse and I knew the day would come when I won't be here anymore. That would be more of a shock to all than if they know what the deal is and can expect it.
It seems once I started blogging about it everything started coming out and still is. I can't shut up.
Oh, shoot me.
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I wonder if you, as I suspect this of Babs too, are sensitive to astrological and psychic energy and that is where the manic depression comes in. I watched my mom for 40 years and it wasn't until I learned about astrology that I began to see that she followed a pattern. And that you are cycling fast right now seems like it could be the "vibes" right now. (Which might also be why so many people are going crazy and killing kids and so forth. Remember that Posey kid is a lot younger, he grew up in a more ecologically toxic environment that we did. Just a thought...)
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You and me girl, on the strange sleep cycles!!!
That makes sense about the mania and binge eating. I'm not bi-polar, so again, ignore me if I'm way off. But from what I've seen with friends and family members that are bi-polar, they tend to get into projects. But with your physical limitations, it may be that food becomes your project. I dunno. But could be...
Sorry about Max having another stroke. That is scary. I hope that your parents are ok, despite their health issues.
I didn't have to study much either when I was younger. I caught on to things quick, but there came a time where I did have to begin studying. I know in college, I always wished I had a photographic memory so I wouldn't have to study!
Poor Gary, I hope he is able to rest his back some. Back injuries are no fun. I like the therma-heat pads they make that can be stuck right on the painful area and last like 8 hours, but they are kinda pricey. I only get them if I am having real bad pain somewhere. But they feel soooooo good.
Ok, now to read your other post. I'm trying to get caught up on post reading!
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Hi Teressa I hope raising your Depkote will make you feel better and have restful sleep. Try hard not to worry too much about Clay and his studying. Some kids have things come to them easily with no problem, and then there are the kids who have to plug and plug just to get a C. Clay just sounds like an exceptional student to me. But as we are mothers it would seem very strange if we didn't worry about our kids and want the very best for them. Glad to hear your stepdad is improving. Has the dr. prescribed any ointment or pills for your Mom's shingles? I heard they take a while to go away so maybe this is taking its course. Did Gary try a plaster for his back? Sometimes this helps. Or if you have some Tylonol 3's around, he's sleep better if his back bothers him in the night. I'm sorry he is having so many problems with it, take care hugz, Linda
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Dooce wrote a really good post on the particular agony of waiting to see if a psychiatric medication is going to work or not...I certainly sympathize. The "glass half full" part of your post here, to me, though, is that it sounds like you are really gaining some insight into your own moods and triggers and the pattern of the cycling. That can only help.
I'm not BP, but hubby is. He was just taken cold-turkey off his lithium because it was clobbering his thyroid. I'm really nervous about that, though he is still on Depakote and Abilify. Hopefully that will get us through spring, which is definitely his tough time.
Hang in there. Much love and understanding from here!