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| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
| 3.18.5 cont.2 |
I Am Not Going To Continue For A Bit.I am feeling kinda stupid putting this all down. It is not like I resent any of it anymore. I just wanted to put my story down. In the last year I have learned to forgive my father, mother, and step-father. It took a lot of years to get to the point I am now. You will see when I continue what the road was like and how I ended up where I am. I am on my 4th marriage and it sure has been a trip to finally get it right. Shoot I don''t even know if anyone takes the time to read this and for the reason I am doing it I guess it don''t matter. I am doing this for me, maybe? It is funny how I always wanted to get things out and now I tell it and there is no feelings like I thought there would be. I have tried to commit suicide many times because I didn''t know how to express that I needed help other than screaming out that way. I never really wanted to die, just wanted people to know just how bad I was hurting inside of me. It took me a lot of counseling to admit this. It is hard to say that you tried to kill yourself just to get someone to pay attention to you. It never helped actually. I still did not have any idea how to say what was going on inside my head. I am now a bipolar person, anxiety ridden, and agoraphobic. Not to mention the physical limitations that I have already told about. Today I am OK with who I am, but who knows what tomorrow will bring.
March 18, 2005 9:59 PM
Added January 6th 2006: It is funny that at that time I was saying I was OK with who I am and now I am having the same doubts. I guess I will come to that point again since I seemed to have found it before. God willing. |
posted by Teressa @ 11:40 AM  |
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