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| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
| 3.22.5 |
Arizona And Beyond...So there I was in Arizona, one friend, and 8 dollars. Can you say mooch? Yeah, I felt really good about myself, not. I got a job with Comfort Inn in housekeeping in about 2 weeks and moved out into a small cabin. It didn''t take me long to become head of housekeeping there and not even as long to make new friends. I started out working a good 12 hours a day and did well for a while. That is until I started drinking and getting high again with my new friends. Priorities changed again and things started looking bleak at work. I met a guy thru one of the girls I worked with and became friends with. It was her brother. I was partying every night and eventually lost my job, my cabin, and moved in with new boyfriend and his family. I found another job that fit my life style at a club. I worked in the evenings and got off in time for the parties to get into good full swing. I work there until I followed boyfriend to the Phoenix area. We stayed with his brother and his wife. I got a job at the local pharmacy as a pharmacist assistant. That didn''t last long either. Other priorities you know.
Things started changing. Now, I never got into hard drugs. I had been slipped a few but had never taken anything purposely. I was the typical pot head. When the coke started being moved in the house is when I knew I was going to have to get out. Too much for me. So once again I have no car, I am now 1500 miles from home, broke, and needing to get the heck out of there. I called my old pastor in Southeast MO and he sent me the bus money to come back home. I stole 6 dollars and that is what I used to eat on for 3 days.
Upon reaching MO I ended up at my dads for a bit. I got a job working construction for a neighborhood man who would pick me up for work. I worked for 16 to 20 dollars a day and man did I work hard for that little bit of money. I moved to my ex''s grandmothers because my dad''s is unbearable. I started an affair with the man I worked for. I am not proud of any of this. He was married. The affair continued for about 2 months before we were caught. I had to quit work. I moved back to my dads, ugh. I then met another guy who lived next door. Now when I say next door you have to realize that we lived in the country and next door was not right next to the house, lol. I ended up spending a lot of time at this guys house and it was not long before I was moved in. The drinking and partying started again. I was drinking more and more. It was what I woke to and what I passed out from every day. I did get a job in a neighboring town and a ride back and forth. I lasted there for a short while because of the drinking. Work was getting in the way of my partying. Once again I stayed there until things became too hot for me with the drugs that were coming n and out. There was a rumor of 40 busts ready to be made and I got the heck out of there too. This time I moved into a house my uncle had that sat empty. It had electric and water.
I started having mental problems. I went thru withdrawl from alcohol and then became suicidal. Here I was 25, thinking that I have handled everything pretty good and my world started falling apart in a different way. The first time I tried suicide I was 15 , the second time I was 20, I was aware of what was happening. I sought help this time. It took begging my parents for one of them to get me to a psychiatrist. They were afraid of what I would be telling them. I finally got to where I could not leave my house and was so depressed I would not answer my door. Finally my mother decided she would take me to see someone. I went and I was eventually put into a, oh I can''t remember what it was called, a home where people could take care of themselves but be watched, I went 8 hours a day to group therapy. I stayed in that program for 45 days and then released. I met another guy. This one was not like the others and didn''t drink heavily and only got high once in a while. I thought I was doing good. I had moved in with my aunt. Then the new boyfriend cut it off. I got a job at an auto auction and met my soon to be new husband. He was 26 years older than me and he put the charm on.
Later...
March 22, 2005 6:32 PM |
posted by Teressa @ 11:46 AM  |
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