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| Sunday, November 06, 2005 |
| Differences |
Babs mentioned that my blog here and the one at blogster today differed. I think they might in that I go with what is in my head at the time. I forgot to update them on my doctor's appointment and I forgot to mention to you all that I was trying to reach my dad after not speaking to him for 6 years. Now if you all keep track of both blogs you will actually get a real good gist of how my mind operates. It is very racy, as in racing from one thing to the next. I usually don't have an agenda when I blog. It is just what comes out at the time. I think that is why I have such a hard time with the need for a title. I sit here stumped at what to name my blog at the start of blogging. Most times I just wait to name it until after I get done, lol.
Now on my dad. I have been wanting to call him for a long time just to tell him that I love him. The reason I had nothing to do with him are complicated but there are two things prominent. His drinking and his wife. Well, him and his wife divorced, so one down. I still assumed he was drinking but all I wanted to do was tell him I love him and not get into his life. I found out when we were talking that he is not drinking anymore. Another one down. I didn't get away unscathed. I got yelled at about my mother and a few other things. I stood my ground though. I didn't let him make me hang up. I got to finally tell him the reasons I had nothing to do with him. I finally got to tell him that allowing that woman, his wife, hurt us, was wrong. He tried to say he did no wrong. Actually said he had done nothing wrong. I was floored. I said yes you did. You hurt us a lot. All I wanted was a family. He said well I didn't do anything to Betty, the stepbitch, I told him yeah, well she didn't get to go through what momma did, did she? He asked me what I meant. I said you didn't beat her like you did momma. He *taking a breath* said, I didn't beat your mother. I told him maybe he was too drunk to remember at the time but you beat her a lot. I described the worst beating he gave her and he said he didn't remember it. How can a person just forget 17 years of abuse? There is no way unless he just convinced himself it was not so so well that in his mind it didn't happen. We got all those things talked out and we actually ended on a good note, can you believe that? I was shaky afterward and felt real weak. It took a lot out of me. Now since I don't want to rehash that part again I think I will c&p it to blogster, whew.
I took a nap today. I woke from a dream with my dad. It left me feeling sad. I wonder where that came from? I hope I didn't screw up my sleep for tonight. I didn't sleep too long. So, maybe not. I sure wish we could subscribe to posts here. That would be nice. I am a big subscribing person.
Later. God bless. Teressa. |
posted by Teressa @ 4:26 PM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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Ya. I like the subscribe option too.
What a phone call!! Some people will always live in denial and never fess up to what mistakes they've made in the past.
What courage you have for making that call!!!
I think copy/paste is an excellent idea.
You're a brave person!
Hey, I slept in a chair last night, it wasn't so bad...I posted about it...
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At least you got to say what you have probably been wanting to say for years. Your father's drinking so much caused him to forget alot of things he has done and probably can't remember. But, your right, how can you forget something like that. He is still in denial. Same with my brother when he molested my sister. Oh, I didn't do that. And, if he forgot, he was too drunk. Still no excuse for what they have done.
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Good morning Sunshine! I found ya again! I'm gonna add a link to my blog right now.
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Ya. I like the subscribe option too.
What a phone call!! Some people will always live in denial and never fess up to what mistakes they've made in the past.
What courage you have for making that call!!!
I think copy/paste is an excellent idea.
You're a brave person!
Hey, I slept in a chair last night, it wasn't so bad...I posted about it...